Monday, November 14, 2011

Challenge 13: Experience

30. Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has special meaning to you. (Harvard)
It was mid-June, during the holidays, and I was sleepy. I got up late, stayed up late, and tried to do something productive with my life. My mother, seeing the depressed state I was in, decided to take me out for a movie. She promised me that she would also help me choose a dress of the school dance. I was quite excited, I admit. I got dressed and we both left for the mall. The mall is a busy one as it was just build around what feels like a year ago. We went from shop to shop, trying to find he perfect dress. Then, we went to a shop that we visited quite often.
It was a pink shop, and my sister and I often buy our clothes from there. As I entered, I felt the cool air from the air conditioner brush my face. I liked the atmosphere. We started rummaging through the racks of dresses. Soon enough, I was in the changing room, trying on one dress after another. It took some time, and I could see that the lady who was assisting us didn't look so pleased about the mess I was making.
Soon enough, my mother found the dress. It was a tight, fitting, black dress with an animal-print off-shoulder. When I first looked at it, I had my doubts. It didn't look like the kind I would wear. Still, my mother insisted that I try it on. So, I went back into the changing room to change. Now, let me tell you a little secret, and believe me, this is true for many teenagers like me: during vacations, not matter how hard I try not to, I seem to just expand. Yes, my stomach explodes and lets not even get into the love-handles. It is quite horrific, I have to admit. Anyway, I slipped the dress on. I had a little hard time getting it through my head, but once I was in it, I looked at myself in the long mirror. I didn't look particularly great. The side deposits, as someone later called them, showed and I felt very conscience in that dress.
I came out of the changing room slowly and called my mother. She looked at me from head to toe and said, "Nanu, I think you look amazing! This is just the dress for you." She looked extremely happy.
I replied, pointing to my sides, "Aa, the dress is fine. But don't know think it looks slightly odd?"
"No, no. Not at all," she said. She turned around to the lady and said, "Excuse me, uh, yes, we will be taking this dress. Please pack it."
We packed it, paid, and left as soon as possible because the movie was about to start. Then, throughout the whole movie, I couldn't stop thinking about the dress. It was clouding my mind and I couldn't see past it. As we exited the cinema hall, I asked my mother something I shouldn't have asked.
"Mamu, lets go back and change the dress. There is something that I really don't like about it. Anyway, I liked the flower-print better," I said.
My mother stopped walking. Her eyes were raging with fire. "Nanu. This is your problem. You cannot decide anything for yourself. You just have to keep thinking and thinking again and changing your decisions. Just stick with what you have. Don't have such an unsure mind. It really frustrates me to have to listen to you, and it certainly does you no good."
As she said this, tears of helplessness flooded my eyes. Ever since I was a kid, I hated whenever my mother scolded me. As I angrily wiped them away, I replied, "It is not my fault! I told you I didn't want it!"
What happened after that is not important. But, what is important is that I learned a lesson that day. I understood something about myself that I should have discovered long before. Firstly, I should listen to my mother because I really did end up wearing that dress and looking great, as my friends said. Secondly, I understood what she meant and I knew that she was absolutely correct: I really was pathetic that way because I couldn't stick to my decisions. I cannot be absolutely sure of what I choose. That is my problem, and till today, I am trying to work towards fixing it.