Challenge 36: Fear

208. How you overcame a fear.

Having gotten a C+ on my very first assignment, I was absolutely discouraged when the teacher told us that we would be having our first, graded oral presentations. Now I know, as well as anybody else, that I cannot speak confidently in public. Even when it came to class discussions, I tried to fulfill just the minimum requirement. Also, having two excellent speakers sitting right next to me, I couldn't have imagined what would be worse.

Our teacher told us that we had two or three days to prepare a presentation about anything we felt passionate about. Now I have to admit that I am quite an environment-friendly person. In the future, I hope to make some difference to the negative impacts and their results in our environment. And for something that I felt so passionately about, I was, at first, very ready to speak about it.

That evening, I stood in front of the larger window of my bedroom at dorms, and looked at my reflection. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine exactly what I would say in order to get my message across. I knew that the only way I could overcome this fear was practice. I would practice and practice so much that the words would flow elegantly out of my mouth while making absolute sense. So I stood there, for an hour or two, and wrote down on a small piece of paper an outline that would help me. I practiced the introduction very well, as I was quite excited to bang my fist on the table right in front of the class, look up with glaring eyes, and begin a strong speech.

When the day came, I was worried and nervous. Scared that I would screw up somehow. My teacher, to be fair, let us draw numbers from a bag in order to see who would go today or tomorrow. I nervously inserted my hand inside the pouch and drew out a piece of paper. With my two friends anxiously leaning over me to see what I had gotten, I nervously unfolded the paper to see that I had gotten number 2. This meant that I would go the next day. As the relief washed over me, my hands stopped shaking as did my legs. I sat back sheepishly, enjoying the state of my many nervous friends. As I was getting used to the idea of getting more practice, the teacher came up to me and asked if I would mind going today because a boy had not prepared for today and wanted to go tomorrow. Hating the feeling of giving in, I told her I could go today. As I became nervous again, I started reciting the speech inside my head, hoping desperately that I hadn't forgotten anything.

When my turn came, I nervously walked up to the front of the class. As the teacher said "Ready when you are," I closed my eyes for a second and took a long breath. I opened my eyes. The faces of classmates seem to engulf my attention as their faces because curious and ready for me to begin. When I was ready, I realized that the front table was too far away to start my frightening introduction. Giving up on that thought, I began, "Trash, trash, trash. Why is there so much trash? Is it because..."

I spoke for three whole minutes, peering from face to face, really trying to get my message across. I remember even looking out the window, at the trees outside, and almost losing my train of thought! As I finished my conclusion, I let of a great sign and felt grateful for the support my friends gave with their slow, yet encouraging applause.

Other than the A I got on my speech, I did get something else out of the assignment. I understood that I just needed to practice, to be familiar with what I am saying, and public speaking wouldn't be so bad after all. I can't say that I completely overcame my fear of public speaking that day, but I can say that I found a way around it.